The Handshake

The plane had landed at Philadelphia International Airport and had rolled to a stop outside of the gate. I knew that this was the time to make my move. I stood up and leaned over the mammoth figure still reclining in his seat. He looked at me crossly. “Sir,” I said, “you are the greatest basketball player of all time.” I stuck my hand out forcing him to reciprocate. “Thanks man,” he mumbled as he shook my Lilliputian hand.

Now how can you sleep when the greatest basketball player of all time is sitting directly in front of you? I couldn’t. All I could think of was what he could still do on the court against the Sixers new big man, Darryl Dawkins. The Dipper would just eat him up, I thought, on offense and defense. But that’s a fantasy. Wilt will never set foot on a court again. Maybe I’m dreaming this. After all it’s the red eye from LA to Philly and you’re supposed to sleep.

What can you say about Wilt Chamberlain? Most sports fans know that he scored 100 points in a single professional game. But how about the 50+ points per game he averaged for an entire season? Or the record 55 rebounds he grabbed in a single game against Bill Russell. Or the only time a professional player scored a double-triple-double – 22 points, 25 rebounds, and 21 assists. These records are as impossible as an asthmatic climbing Everest without oxygen.

In his early days he was unstoppable. The NBA felt it had to at least slow Wilt down so they changed the rules. The three-second violation, widening the foul lane, and both offensive and defensive goaltending rules were instituted to throttle The Dipper. They didn’t.

Why am I thinking about this? I’m supposed to get some sleep. Don’t you think Wilt’s sleeping in his seat?

As I board the plane late in the evening, I’m surprised at the check-in counter. I have just received a free upgrade to first class. I enter the first class section and see that there are more seats than people. Now I can really spread out, relax, and sleep. But wait a minute, who is this towering figure now boarding at the last minute that everyone seems to know. My God it’s Wilt Chamberlain, and he’s sitting in the row in front of me! How like Wilt to hold up an entire flight until he’s good and ready to fly. After all he’s probably the only profession coach who failed to show for his team’s games. Now what should I say to him?